This is a draft I've had in my drive for a while and wanted to get it out. Its not finished but I kinda liked the setting.
Victorian Times
I awaken, struck by a sense of unknowingness of where I am in the grand scheme of the universe. I slumber my body onto a lively street. It seems I've taken a backspace from my present into another's.
The clicking sound of chariots echoes through the thin walls of the old brick town. The rustling of chimney sweeps touches the town's vibrancy ever so slightly. I walk past a coat shop bustling with rich gentlemen hoping to buy a new opulent coat. I continue walking, passing women with corsets and bloomful dresses looking like a tulip in spring. I continue my walk. Passing children left on the streets to starve and die from hunger and sickness that plague London’s streets. I passed London’s law enforcement chasing down a petty thief who was looking to have nicked a few bucks. Its gloomful day with smoggy clouds and thick air filling the atmosphere like a suffocating flame. I dropped to the ground in sickness. Seeing children dying because the country couldn't admit to its own complications. Immature I thought. I am filled with empathy for those who suffer. I think how lucky I am to live a life of comfort.
I venture out into the countryside to escape the horror. The countryside is warm and glares with sun. I touch the silky soft grass. I continue my walk just admiring the sheer beauty of it is so much to handle. As I look back to the now not so lively town. Gloomful. The one word that could describe it. How could I have taken for granted so much, these times were sad yet part of the evolution to where we are today. It really does put into perspective “No pain, No gain”. Although not everything was murderous. The rich lived the high life of posh food and comfortable service at their fingertips, While I was still in the city I passed many rich gentlemen and their Mrs constantly on the look for more useless corsets and unreasonably priced bow ties. Chariots parked at almost every corner you turn. It's a weird world here, things are consistently the same. I think I've seen enough, I say to myself as I peacefully drift back to the time I call present.
Luca, I am so pleased you shared this piece of writing. You have a wonderful way with words and selecting vocabulary that is representative of the time period. Your writing takes me on a journey and I can imagine being in that scene. I really like how you vary the length of your sentences for impact. When you write, do you draw on ideas that you've seen in movies, or read in books? I wonder if you were to journey to other time periods, how you could further develop this story. Keep up the great work Luca! Awhi Token
ReplyDeleteHi Luca. Your writing is very descriptive and allows the reader to paint a picture in their mind about what they are reading. I like how you have used lots of adjectives to describe things in your story. My favourite was "the silky soft grass". What gave you the idea to write this particular story? Was it a picture you had seen? I look forward to reading more of your writing. Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteCarol